Peck a little, talk a little

Meine Musik jetzt: Tchaikovsky, Sleeping Beauty, Act III. You never saw this part in the Disney movie. This is when the owl from the forest and Malefocent's crow have a conversation over cigarettes.

Owl: You know, Bruce...
Crow: Yes, Stanley?
Owl: Um, Stan. [drag]
Crow: Right. [nervous drag]. Stan.
Owl: Anyways, that Princess might have junk in the trunk [extends wings], but she's too much of a damn prima donna bitch. [long, righteous drag]
Crow: Omigod, I know! I told her she was completely rude and didn't need to worry about a bra. No need for you to be seen at Vickie's, hun. And her hair, ugh! I mean, am I right?

[beat]

Owl: Uh, whatever. Man, I'd so wanna see her and the witch get it on. [drag] Those fairies can make some cool shit happen, I bet.
Crow: Seriously! With all the candles and the drapery even the Ellen action would be semi-romantic. If you can get into that sort of thing. Me, I'd love a steam bath with spicy scents. [moves closer, blows smoke into OWL's face, attempting to turn him on]

[long beat. OWL takes final drag, puts out butt with talon]

Owl: Look, man. I'm not gay.
Crow: What?! Well, me neither, I mean duh! [snorts. takes drag between snorts]
Owl: Whatever man. Look, the whole cast knows. It's no big deal. The Prince and the Dragon have had a thing for a few months now. But me, I'm not into crow-jobs. Nothing personal. See ya back on the set. [Exeunt by flying]
Crow: [visibly deflated] Damn. He had a nice ass.
Horse: You called, sweetie?


I'd stop here but I have coffee left.

I only had theory classes today, and so there's no way to even try to make those interesting. HOWEVER! Tomorrow is All-Larry-All-The-Time day.

Ah, Lar. Big guy, wears a sweaty hat. Percussion major. You know the kind of guy I mean. Not in touch with society too much. Likes Save the Rainforest and Valparaiso Youth Symphony t-shirts. He's not all that special except for that fact that he cracks off jokes that would make us throw our Music Analysis texts at him if they weren't so expensive. Sample:

Professor: Well, Monteverdi didn't just wake up one morning and say, "I'm going to revolutionize music today."
Lar: Well, of course not. He did the dishes first.

Oh Lar. Lar, Lar, Lar, Lar, Lar. So we have these huge presentation projects due during the semester, and our Lar's is tomorrow. Larry picked his topic, a composer by the name of Gesualdo, because the latter killed his wife. I don't know if that's really funny "ha-ha," there, Lar. But go ahead. Anyways, I'm planning on scribbling his every word down furiously on my legal pad. Then I can bring it out on a rainy day 40 years from now and smile.

Ah, Lar. We hardly knew ye.

Musica ora: Tuba mirum, from Mozart's Requiem. Nothing funny 'bout this one. It's a masterwork. I feel exalted when I listen to it. Like I should be in a robe and have a laurel crown and jump into the phone booth with Bill & Ted.