Hoping this doesn't become my Eeyore outlet

"Uproarious" - New York Times
"I felt 94 again" - AARP Magazine
"Forget squirrel hunting, Take off your daisy dukes is the new it-leisure activity" - Kid I met, from Columbus, IN

These are just some of the rave reviews I thinked of whilst plopped here on the couch in the Jared apartment. That's right. Jared. As in the Subway guy with the I'm-gon-rock-yo'-world lips and the heart that won't easily forget 2 metric tons. I live in his old apartment. Well, I should say "we," Stephen J. Meyer [hailing from the Land of Cleves], Kate L. Talbert [a St. Lunatic if there ever was one], and myself. I'll use the word "loft," as I'm about to say that I live over a Subway, and "loft" sounds Trumpish and kühl. Anywhat, Jared was kind enough to bequeath us this loft, and we thank him whenever he's on tv with a hearty, "Thanks, Jar!" That is pronounced, of course, in a manner that rhymes with chair, scare, and Susie's ass kinda flares out there and prevents her from entering doors easily. I'd include the IPA transcription, since as a music major that's one of the few ways I can shamelessly flaunt some kind of non-Musik skill, but alas blog hast nicht the big E symbol which indicates an open and long vowel. Please don't hit the back button now. I AM VINDICATED BY MY REVIEWS!

I'll admit here that I'm spurned on to create/write/poo via computer by two of my most incredibly articulate and sexually active friends back home, Ms. B. Lipschitz and Ms. C. Karpanski. Those of you from Chicago should be ok with the Polack's name. Anywhy, they have some really komische (funny, auf Deutsch) blogs, and I was inspired by them (the blogs, not the Jewish girls). It gives me something to do at night besides downing highballs and random hook-ups at gay.com kids' houses at which I am busy thinking, "Wow, 'Spiro Agnew' really is a crazy name," while making out with... shit, sorry I'm awful with names.

I may not always be consistent with my postings. Please forgive me for making you boil with antici













[almost]










pation.